Five Tips to Keep the Ex at Bay

Discovering that our partner – the most special person in our life – has been someone else’s special person before us is an awful feeling. What can you do to make sure things go your way.

Recently I discovered that my partner’s single ex-girlfriend Jen – the girl who broke his heart – was Jenny Summers, the beautiful blonde girl the year below me at school. It shattered my illusions about my partner’s previous life being dead and buried. Here she was, alive, still stunning, and catching up with us over coffee.

Discovering that our partner – the most special person in our life – has been someone else’s special person before us is an awful feeling. It’s made worse when that someone else is someone we know.

Do you forbid him to see her? Do you terminate your friendship with her? Do you avoid the parties of mutual friends?

For all you women in relationships, here are five tips to cope with the ex-girlfriend who’s way too friendly with you and your man:

1. Be honest with your partner. Tell him that you feel threatened that his ex-girlfriend is in both your lives, and that you need him to be sensitive to how he treats you both.

2. Change your phone number.

3. When she emails asking you to lunch, say no. Explain that your fabulous, highly paid job, and your spontaneously romantic boyfriend consume all your time. 

4. You’re about to see your partner’s ex. Stuff a cushion down your front and arch your back a little. Tell her gleefully, “We’re due in 3 months.”

5. Find out the ex’s birthday and set your wedding date smack bang on top of it. That way you can be sure she’ll decline the invitation.

If all else fails, there’s always the mature way to behave: tell her that while you like her, you feel awkward having her around. Then pray you don’t arrive home to find a boiling bunny on the stove.

Want more tips to evade and avoid? Have a look at Partner4Real.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR